The Ghosts That We Knew
by pink greatness
Summary: Hermione makes the decision to swear off magic for the rest of her life, but is that truly wise? She bumps into someone she never would have expected to see, and that changes everything; not just for her... but for him, too.


**A/N:** I don't own anything but the plot. The characters are J.K. Rowling's, and the title of this fic is taken from a song by Mumford & Sons. This fic is dedicated to my dear friend Katelyn. Enjoy, guys!

Survivor's guilt.

That's what they called it, as if she didn't already know. Her parents had made her see multiple healers, speak to therapists, and try medications, but nothing worked. Hermione Granger had been stuck in a rut. A rut that she couldn't pull herself out of; one that drowned her with sadness and guilt, and then wrung her out to dry, making her feel empty inside. No one understood the extent of what she felt, and she couldn't understand why. Not Harry, not Ron… not even Ginny, the closest female friend she'd ever had. During the times where she found herself incapable of moving from her bed, they just stared at her with sad faces of their own, not able to find the perfect words to speak to her, to make it better. Little did they know, nothing could make it better.

It was a day in late August when Hermione snapped. She had spent an entire weekend cooped up in her bedroom, unable to move, go out, or act like a normal human being. It wasn't much different from what she had been feeling for the past year; wars did things to people… Death, it changed people. She had been changed. That day, Ron had knocked on her door what seemed like a million times before Hermione found herself able to get up and let him in. His ears were bright red; that was normally a sign that he was either fiercely angry or incredibly embarrassed. The scene that happened next was something that Hermione later decided would be best to just… forget. But the moments that occurred after Ron Weasley walked out of her flat, broken hearted and incredibly sullen that changed Hermione's life forever.

She decided it was time to make a change in her life, and that change… Well, it was to swear off magic. Forever.

. . .

"Why are you doing it?" Her mother tilted her head and slowly dipped the tea bag in and out of the steaming water inside of her teacup. Hermione watched as the tea was slowly infused into the hot water, billows of the dark color with the slightest addition of cream making the mixture murky. It described her life perfectly. Murky. Slightly unpleasant. She lifted her head, her amber eyes shifting to look at her mother. A sigh escaped her lips, and Hermione lifted a hand to smooth a curtain of curls behind her ear. "Doing what, mum?" She asked. Her mother raised her eyebrows. It was clear that they both knew what 'it' was.

"Why are you swearing off magic? You love magic."

"I _loved _magic. Before it caused… Everything that it caused."

"That wasn't magic's fault. It was Voldemort's."

Still, Hermione winced. His name still haunted her. The whole war still haunted her; Bellatrix torturing her, seeing her friends perish… Magic. Yes, Magic was what she needed to swear off. She needed to get away from this crazy life that she had gotten herself into. This was the only way. Her mother paused and looked uneasy at her reaction to Voldemort's name. It hurt her to see her daughter in so much pain. "If you think it's the right thing to do… Do it, Hermione. Trust in your instincts. You only know what's right for you."

So she swore off magic. Hermione gathered every single bit of her past life and stored it away in her old Hogwart's trunk, which was then placed in the basement of her parent's house, locked away where she would not have any access to it. That was the day that Hermione Granger disappeared from the face of the Wizarding World. Without a word, she cut off communication from everyone and anyone that she knew, moved out of her flat in Diagon Alley, and back into her parent's home until she enrolled in a university, where she studied to become a school teacher. She made new friends, who had no idea about her past or the war that she fought. Hermione pushed all thoughts of the Wizarding World out of her head, and opened her arms to new beginnings. At her University, she made sure that no one from her past life would be able to contact her. No one knew where she was; because before swearing off magic, she had cast one more spell: she made herself untraceable.

Hermione had a new life, and it was perfect.

. . .

Five years passed.

Hermione had graduated at the top of her class, and was offered a job what seemed like the moment she stepped off of campus, and into the real world. She was a teacher for children from year ten to thirteen, and was known to be one of the toughest teachers at her school. She was lucky though, to have the respect of her students, because it wasn't often that teachers did. Before she knew it, December had rolled along, bringing back memories that she wasn't quite fond of. This time, six years ago she had been on the run with Harry. Every year after that, on Christmas Eve, Hermione would travel to Godric's Hollow, to the graveyard Harry's parents were buried in. She would do it fairly late at night so that she wouldn't be seen, but her heart still pounded in her chest as she wondered vaguely whether or not Harry and Ginny lived close by… And Ron, of course… She would be reminded of Ron.

Merlin, she would be lying if she said she didn't miss them.

Hermione quickly did the buttons on her coat, hands shaking. She watched herself in the mirror as she slowly wrapped a scarf around her neck, and then pulled a pair of gloves over her fingers. It was cold outside, snowing actually, and she was supposed to be spending the evening with her parents, but there was something that she needed to do first, something that she did every year, without a word to anyone. She had, after all sworn off magic. What would her mother say if she knew her daughter visited a magical place once a year, every year? She would probably be pleased, actually… Hermione frowned at her reflection in the mirror, and then sighed and turned, her hand reaching for her car keys.

It didn't take her long to arrive at the graveyard in Godric's Hollow, even though she had stopped on the way to pick up a simple wreath to place on the grave. It was the same one that she picked out every year. The same one that she had conjured up the night she and Harry first visited the place, six years ago. Hermione figured that it would send him the message that she was safe, and doing okay. She knew he worried, he and Ron always had. For a while, Hermione stayed in her car, her heart pounding in her chest. Every year it was the same for her. Being back in a place where magic was freely used… It made her want things that she knew she couldn't have. She had brought herself into such a good place in her life… Going back would just bring back everything that she had wanted to escape in the first place.

Huffing out a sigh, the brunette turned her car off and shoved the keys into her pocket as she opened the door. She hopped out and quietly walked, wreath in hand, to the entrance of the graveyard. It was completely silent, the air still-though she knew in a matter of moments the church bells would start ringing out songs of Christmas joy and happiness. The dimly lit graveyard was only occupied by those who were buried beneath the cold, hard ground; and so Hermione traveled further until she reached the giant memorial of James and Lily Potter. Silently, she placed the wreath down on the shiny stone, and closed her eyes.

"Happy Christmas, Harry. Happy Christmas, Ron." She murmured, placing a hand down, to rest on the grave. "And Happy Christmas, Mr. and Mrs. Potter." Tears welled up in her eyes, and before she could stop herself, Hermione was sobbing into her hands. It was so cold that her tears felt as if they might freeze on her skin. She was so preoccupied by her own emotional turmoil that she didn't even notice the crunching of footsteps in snow-or the man that had his wand out… and directed at her. But when it did register, she gasped and jumped up, spinning around to make her way out of the graveyard as fast as she possibly could. Hermione ran, but she ran straight into the chest of a much larger person, and then crashed to the floor.

"Are you alri—Miss _Granger?_"

"No, no, you must have me mistaken for someone…" Hermione looked up as she brushed the cold snow off of her jacket, trailing off when she realized just who was in front of her. She gasped audibly and looked away, trying to hide her face in the shadows, but it was too late… He already knew. There was no way she could escape this one. Hermione took his outstretched hand and heaved herself up, gnawing at her lower lip anxiously.

"Thank you… Pr-Professor Snape."

**A/N:** And there you have it! End of chapter one. Hope you guys enjoyed. Let me know what you liked/didn't like, and I'll take everything into consideration! Thanks for reading.


End file.
